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Although I have experienced hundreds of lucid dreams over the years, none have impacted my waking life like my very first. (A lucid dream is one in which you are aware that you are dreaming, while you are still in the dream.)

It was 1987. I had spent the last year reading metaphysical, "New Age" type books, searching for answers and meaning in life. Many books were helpful and gave me some new ideas, but I still hadn't found what I was looking for - whatever that was.

Then I began reading the Seth books. How adventurous it all seemed! "New" concepts like "You Create Your Own Reality" sounded almost too good to be true. However, at first it was a bit disconcerting. I had created everything in my life? All of my "problems" were created by me? Impossible! But I delved deeper into the material and learned about beliefs, and how they form our reality; how our thoughts structured our experiences.

Intellectually I understood the process. Our beliefs, intent, and expectation created our experiences. But even with that newly acquired insight, and the willingness to accept the responsibility that I was creating my own personal reality, I still wavered in the face of certain situations. I still had fears and doubts and wondered, does it really work? All the time? Could I really do it myself? Maybe a "higher" more "spiritual" part of me did all the directing and I merely filled in the blanks….

While learning about the role of consciousness in the creation process I was also learning more about the dream state. I was fascinated. We could interpret our dreams and use the knowledge to improve or enhance our waking lives. But what really intrigued me the most was the idea that you could bring your waking consciousness into your dreams and still be asleep! Not only that, but you could manipulate your dream environment; change circumstances, change scenes. My mind danced with excitement! So many wonderful things to learn! Perhaps one day when I knew just how to do it, I'd give it a try. Months later, without knowing how to do it, I had the following dream:

A group of us at Saint Mary's University campus are going to a lecture on Edgar Cayce. On our way, a young woman and I fall behind. The SMU football field is huge, and we have to cross it to get to the lecture. The scene changes and we are then in a dorm room getting ready to go, when all of a sudden the young woman looks different. She has become sinister looking. She is dressed in tight black leather and either she has her black hair piled on top of her head, or she wears an elaborate headpiece of some kind. She holds up a sword, and is now standing about two meters above me. I am tangled among thick ropes against a wall, holding tightly to keep from dropping. There is no floor below me, only a dark void. I know that with one slash of her sword, the ropes will break and I will fall into the void. She begins to chant something Satanic; one word over and over. I look down into the bottomless pit and think "Shelf. I need a shelf." I release my grip and know that a shelf will materialize for me to land on. It does. When I land, I look back up at her, with a slow triumphant smile. She begins to vanish, like mist, as I open my eyes to end the dream.

I remained in bed for a few moments, feeling a tremendous rush of excitement. I had done it!! It was at the end of the dream, but I had done it! I had brought my waking consciousness into the dream state and had changed the situation. I had also consciously chosen to end the dream, and did so, easily. I felt a sense of personal power that I had never felt before. I labeled my experience a "conscious dream." When I later discovered books about lucid dreaming, I knew that this had been my first lucid dream.

Looking back over that dream, I could see that not only had I been successful in bringing my waking awareness into the dream state, but that there was some valuable information contained within that experience as well. By interpreting the dream it became obvious that we create our reality with our thoughts and expectations. I had needed a shelf to land on, had thought "Shelf" and expected it to be there. And of course it was. On further examination of the dream I noted that the woman in leather (who looked suspiciously like myself, I had to admit) represented my fears and doubts and feelings of a lack of control over my life. Her headpiece or elaborate hairstyle indicated that these fears, doubts, etc., were carried in my head, in my mind.

A somewhat subtle, but powerful realization was that I was able to let go and drop to the shelf. I was not tangled in the ropes, I only thought I was. I was in fact, holding on to them. This I knew represented convoluted and "tangled" beliefs and assumptions that I was holding on to, and that to simply "let go", would free me of them. Looking back up at the lady in leather and smiling at her, in complete confidence of my safety and knowing I was in full control, literally diffused the situation and ended the scene.

I'd like to be able to say that these insights were apparent to me immediately. They were not. It took several years before I fully understood the symbols in that dream. From that time on, I continued to read and learn about consciousness, dreaming, and reality creation (as I still do!). Becoming lucid and experiencing the immediacy of "You Create Your Own Reality" in the dream state drove home the point that we do this constantly in our waking lives. How ironic, and yet delightful to discover that my search for answers and meaning lead me right back to myself, and to my own consciousness!